


Dear Tubbo,

by rainbowsinshadesofblue



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, DadSchlatt, Eventual Fluff, Gen, Implied/Referenced Death in Childbirth, death mention, its going to get better eventually i swear if i continue this it will get happier, just a warning this first chapter is basicaly schlatt venting, listen man i just love this au, we love happy fics here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-14 08:40:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28917723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowsinshadesofblue/pseuds/rainbowsinshadesofblue
Summary: A selection of letters from a father to his son
Relationships: Jschlatt & Toby Smith | Tubbo
Comments: 6
Kudos: 50





	Dear Tubbo,

Dear… child,

Happy birthday, I guess. Don't exactly have a name for you yet, so child it is. Who knows, might be a nice way to… I don’t know. I don’t fucking know. 

God, what the fuck am I supposed to write? I read somewhere that writing things down could help but what the fuck is this even going to do? I mean sure, you’re here. You’re here and she’s not and the first time I ever saw you you were covered in her blood and screaming so loud it hurt my fucking ears enough I didn’t notice she wasn’t. Is that what they wanted me to write here? That you killed her? Did they want me to lie? 

But there you are, screaming your little ass off while some bitch dotes over you. You’re so fucking small, do you know that? The second I saw you, yelling like there’s no tomorrow, It really hit me just how small you were. Are. Whatever. It’s weird to think about and see it in person, how something so tiny can have such an impact on my life. On her, when she bled out in front of me.

They’re telling me you’re going to live, that you’re going to be just fine. A bit premature, maybe not the perfect height or weight, but they did this little footprint thing and gave me all the papers. You’re going to live a long, happy life, they said. Wish they could say the same about your mother, eh? 

… 

I don’t know if I wish you were dead or not. You’d be with the better of the two of us, or even just her. 

Holy shit, I’m never going to let you see this. If you find this, I’m not sorry. It’s all true, but still, that’s one hell of a thing to drop on a kid. I’d like to think I’m not that horrible of a person, to traumatize a child like that. Who knows, though, if I’m even half as bad a dad as I was a partner… well… 

Maybe she left for a reason. Hell if I know. I’m just the one she left behind. 

I think that’s enough writing. 

-Your horrible, horrible father

-_-_-

Dear Kid,

You're a lot smaller than I thought you would be. I mentioned it before but I feel it stands to be mentioned again, because holy _shit_. You are literally the same size as my shoe. My timbs could easily crush you. I've been told I probably shouldn't even think that, but hey! Facts are facts, and you are one tiny bitch. 

Still don’t have a name for you yet. Not too surprising, they’re hard and knowing me you'll end up with some sort of dumb fucking name. Maybe something like Wilbur. Now _that’s_ a dumb name. I would fucking hate to be named that. 

I haven’t really talked to him since you were born. Or anyone else, really. All you do is cry and cry and I barely sleep at night, they wouldn’t want to see me like this anyways. Jokes on them, at least I got laid. Ha. Funny one, eh? Ha.

Ha.

…

Should I still be missing her? It's only been a week or two but nothings going to change and I know I'm going to have to just fucking get used to it. I see your face all scrunched up like you'll burst out into tears at any moment and I can only think of what would she do? I can already tell you're going to look like her, and I think that's going to hurt more than anything else. 

Really though, the worst part is that I can already feel it. Some sort of fucked up fatherly affection, can you believe that? Me? Feeling something genuine? Another joke to go down in the fucking books. People will flock from across every server, "Fucked Up Man Is Funny, Somehow!" I still find myself staring down at you though, in your little weird nest of blankets, and I want to hold you. I want to hold you close and protect you and be your dad but I have no fucking clue how, kid. 

God, that's enough thinking for one day. I think… 

I think I need a drink.

Bye, bud. I'll think of a name for you some other time.

\- Your reluctant father

**Author's Note:**

> HEY GAMERS UR ALL SO SEXY FOR READING THIS  
> FOLLOW ME ON TUMBLR IM @TECHNOBADDIE ILL KISS U ON THE MOUTH PLATONICALLY I POST A LOT ABT CHARLIE SLIMECICLE THERE  
> also if he joins the dsmp later today i will lose my shit <3  
> please comment + kudos if u can!! its vv appreciated and internet validation is so so nice


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